getting real. sorta.


an update, plain and tall
December 28, 2010, 3:18 am
Filed under: the woman growing down

HOKAY, SO HERE’S MY LIFE IN a very large, metophorical and verbose nutshell: i’m an idiot.

so, i live in virginia these days, yes? well, virginia is much more south than washington so i thought, hmm, winters here must be milder than back home, even though seattle has some pretty mild winters compared to the rest of the pacNW. still, i did not think i was going to encounter snowstorm2k10 living near the beach.

but i did.

no biggie, being from washington and owning an suv, i can deal. at least, if that is the only variable that is different, i can deal. i can’t deal apparently if the snow is just the beginning of my problems. which brings me to the day after christmas…

it was time to go into work. i went outside. i couldn’t locate my car at first as it had been buried under snow a ruler would have a hard time measuring. i had my trusty hand-held broom with me to assist in digging out my car, but with my soup and my purse and my keys all in my hand, it was simply too much to handle — literally.

so, i swept the snow off my driver’s-side window and opened the door, placed everything on the front seat i had in my hands except the broom so i could attempt to sweep of the near-foot of snow that had taken up residence upon my car.

after somehow managing to thwart off frostbite (i did not get gloves for xmas, despite my asking for them…alas, i think i shall manage somehow) i decided i’d dusted and swept enough and it was time to get into the car and start heating that up. so i went to open the door and …

… nothing happened. WAH?!?!?! no no no, door, you open when i pull your handle. that’s how it’s always worked. i’ve ne’er had problems before this. i’ll try again, this time, you work, you hear? i pulled again…nothing…again. sh*t. my stomach and my throat switched places (not literally) and then flipped and flopped back again.

there on the front seat with my purse and my soup and my spoon were my keys, just laying there, taunting me and my stupidity. crestfallen and cold, i — thankfully — had my phone and began making the calls for assistance. due to the weather, AAA was not able to get to me for a couple of hours, so a co-worker brought me to work.

a couple hours later i received a call from AAA informing me my car would be able to be rescued within the hour and they’d call when they were a half hour away. an hour later they called back:

“Ms. Kristen?” – the lady asked
“Yes?” – i oft ignore people’s inability to correctly pronounce my last name
“Um, the vehicle we sent out to assist you has run off the road”
“Oh.”
“Yeah…”
“Well, why don’t we just worry about this tomorrow.”
“Oh, ok. Yeah…”

Swell. A co-worker (after quoting The Situation and his inquiry as to whom rescues AAA when AAA needs to be towed) offered her place for my sleeping-ness. i very appeciatedly accepted and went home with her last night.

in the morning, said co-worker drove me to my apt to wait for the AAA car. i’d been sitting thinking to myself “i’ve ne’er locked my keys in my car e’er before! how doth this happen to me? it can’t be, it just can’t be!” upon arriving beside my popcicled car, i decided to check and make sure my belongings were still there. they were, thankfully. then i decided to check one more thing. i had a feeling and just decided to pull on the handle.

CAR DOOR OPENED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don’t know how, why, when, or whatever, but my car door did exactly as i’d wished it had the night before and wished it hadn’t then and there. somehow i’d managed to unlock my keys in my car. my guess is that i froze my keys in my car. at any rate, at least i had my driver’s license … this time.

AND THE ONLY REASON I HAD TO WIPE SNOW OFF MY CAR WAS BECAUSE IT HAD GOTTEN STUCK IN ITS PARKING SPOT WITH THE COVERED PARKING. fail.

_________

Chicago: so, i went to chicago a couple weeks ago to visit Brianne who was flying there to interview with Groupon (she got the job!!!!) and to ‘splore the city. and eat at lou milnatti’s. however, i was almost unable to get there due to the fact that i’d lost my license in New York City the week before (if e’er you spot a new zealand who is 6’5 with red hair walking around, ask him if he has it… his name is james, i think). so, my mother sent me my birth cert and my expired school ID card and with that and my work badge and a printout receipt of my WA driver’s license replacement order (cuz i didn’t have enough identification to get a VA driver’s license…they wanted my transcripts!) i was able to get on and off the airplanes to and from Chicago. then on the way back, i’d realized i’d left my debit card in chicago.

so, while these past few weeks have been slightly fail hither and thither, i got to see my nephews (and sis and bro-in-law1.0) which was really great. and i got to watch barbie rapunzel, which was even better.

merry xmas.

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1 Comment so far
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Way too funny even though I know at the time it wasn’t! I miss you lots! Love always, mom

Comment by Mom




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